Funeral at Mandiram

Most of the people who live at Mandiram are elderly and many are in poor health. On Thursday, one of the residents here passed away.
As I walked by the chapel on my way to lunch, I noticed singing, which was unusual. When I entered the mess hall, Rev. Thomas Samuel greeted me: "There has been a death." Mrs. Mary Thomas had lived at Mandiram for over 20 years. I did not know her (there are over 100 people livnig here, and I have only been here a few weeks) but I attended her funeral.
All afternoon, residents sang and prayed over Mrs. Thomas in the chapel. Some went up to her body, which was lying in a small casket with a white sheet draped up to her chin, with red and yellow flowers placed on top. A cross, candles and incense sat at her feet. Rev. Thomas Samuel performed the funeral service, then several men carried the casket up a hill to the graveyard. We sang a slow hymn as we walked behind them.
Beena, the head nurse here, said to me before the service, "So many people have slipped through my hands." She is a strong woman. I can't imagine what it's like to be in a line of work where one must deal with death on a regular basis.
The funeral service was simple, but nice. It was beautiful out. Sunny, with a breeze, and greenery everywhere. "Mary was over 80 years old," Beena told me as we walked back down the hill. "She lived a long life."

On a more uplifting note, I visited my first ashram today! It's very small and just 15 minutes from Mandiram. The chapel was beautiful. We sat on mats on the floor, and I could look up into the domed ceiling (which wasn't made out of straw but somehow looked like it was) or out into the surrounding trees. It was very peaceful. Someone told me that the people living at this ashram are all married with kids, which I find funny and insightful at the same time. Funny, because usually ascetics don't get married. But insightful, because who says that loving God means you can't love people too?

Average Day and Yesterday

Average Day:
I’ve been asked about what my average day at Mandiram looks like. In short, there is no average day. Not yet, anyway. Mandiram is about to celebrate its 73rd anniversary, so there are programs going on right now that wouldn’t normally be happening. Also, I haven’t begun my English classes yet, so I’m missing that from my daily schedule. And it’s raining, so the weather isn’t as hot as it will usually be. But here’s a general idea of what my time here looks like.
Right now, I usually wake up around 7, bathe out of a bucket, and go down to the mess hall for breakfast. Breakfast usually consists of something made out of rice flour (usually something pancake-like) and curry. Then I go to the office and read the newspaper or study Malayalam. I’ll hang around with some of the residents here for a bit, practicing my Malayalam with them. I may go down to the street to buy some things. Then lunch is at 1. Lunch is rice with some kind of curry and some kind of finely chopped veggie, with maybe some kind of meat. After lunch, I usually rest. It gets pretty hot at this point in the day, so it’s nice to sit under a fan and read or just rest for a little bit. I’ll wander around some more, then at 5, I go see the girls at the orphanage and help them with their homework. Or play… 6:00 is Chapel, which I sometimes go to, and then 8:00 is dinner. Dinner is about the same as lunch, only smaller. After dinner, I usually finish whatever unfinished business I have, read, and go to bed. And that’s my average day!

Yesterday:
Yesterday, Mandiram held an elocution and singing contest for the community here. Boys and girls of all ages gathered together in our mess hall, all similes and nerves. Some ran around outside with friends while they waited their turn to perform, and others sat wriggling in their seats. I am constantly impressed by the outfit the kids here wear – impeccable dresses with poofy sleeves and knee-length gathered skirts, neatly ironed collared shirts tucked into spotless shorts.
The elocution contest was first. One by one, students walked out into the hall, took a gulp of air and launched right into their speeches. I was impressed with all of them. I couldn’t tell what they were saying, really, but their emotion and force defied translation.
As time went on, the audience (even the adults) grew restless. There was a constant murmur from them, even during the speeches. Then one girl came out. She opened her mouth, took her gulp of air, and began her speech in a teeny-tiny, little voice. The audience’s murmur increased, no doubt tsk tsking with their neighbors. The girl got more nervous as the noise increased. A judge asked the audience to be quiet. But the silence didn’t last long. And the poor girl kept looking out at her inattentive audience with an expression of helplessness on her face. She shifted her weight over and over, and tugged at her shinny red dress blowing in the breeze. Her speech must have taken weeks to memorize, and now she could barely make the words audible. And no one was listening to her words, anyway.
When she was finished (and close to tears), she walked quickly back to her mother. And her mother beamed at her and grabbed her and wrapped her up in her arms. And though the girl was probably about 10 or 12, she sat on her mother’s lap and grinned, her expression of helplessness a distant memory in her mother’s arms.

The Alphabet

I have not even been in India for three weeks and already I feel like I have a lot to say! So, to give a broad overveiw (and because I've been trying to learn a new alphabet), I decided to go through the alphabet and come up with one subject for each letter.

A=atapoo: An arrangement of flower petals of different colors in intricate designs, made during Onam (a holiday in September). Our group of volunteers made a beautiful one, complete with a lotus in the center.
B=banana: One of my new favorite things. They come in all varieties here - big, small, green, yellow - and are cooked in different ways - boiled, fried, raw.
C=coke: Banned in Kerala. Teh water the plants were using to make the soda containted high levels of pesticides and other chemicals, making the soda toxic. Coke and Pepsi refused to clean up the water. This is the second time that Coke/Pepsi has been banned in Kerala.
D=dhoti: A more common word for men's dress. Consists of a piece of fabric, wrapped around the waist.
E=electricity: As I write this (by hand first), the power has already gone off once. The power usually goes out once a day, but not for longer than 20 mins.
F=females: Women are, generally, treated with respect here. Like anywhere, including the US, there are a few bad apples who mistreat women, but I haven't had any problems. However, there is still a strong social and physical divide between men and women. Each sits on separate sides of buses, churches, mess halls, etc. Women also cover their heads in church (but us volunteers do not, and haven't had any problems).
G=God's Own Country: What Kerala is said to mean. It is very beautiful here, very green and lush.
H=heat: Haven't had much. The second rainy seadson has started early (or the first ended late... or I brough the rains, depending on who you ask!) so the weather has been moderate.
I=illiterate: I'm like a kid again here. I have to re-learn how to eat, bathe, use the bathroom and read. Malayalam consists of over 15 vowels and 36 consonants.
J=I couldn't think of anything, so here's a random fact: My neighbor downstairs was once imprisoned with Gandhi!
K=koconut: Okay, so it's coconut, but they're a huge deal here and I couldn't leave them off! Every part of a coconut is used here, right down to the husk. You'll find coconut in many dishes, although it isn't sweet like you'd expect. And tender coconut water is good too.
L=lakes, latex and literacy: The three l's of Kerala. Hundreds and hundreds of lakes, huge producers of rubber, and high literacy rates here (although we heard that literacy means you can write your name).
M=Mandiram: My volunteer site. Most of my "work" seems to just be hanging out with the elderly residents here, which is difficult right now because we don't speak the same language! I've also been spending time with the girls at the orphanage and will begin teaching English (me? seriously?) for first year nursing students in a few weeks.
N=notebooks: They're all covered with cheesy pictures of movie stars. I love it.
O=0: aka zero. I cheated on this one, too. Zero is approx. how much personal space one gets here. Once, a woman came up so close to me, with her mouth open so wide, I thought she was going to lick me. And I think she almost did.
P=Pope: I don't know how much the news in the US is reporting on the Pope's anti-Islam remarks, but it's big news here. people are very upset, and there have been serveral articles in the newspaper every day since it happened.
Q=quiet: Something that only happens here between the hours of 10pm and 5am. I told someone yesterday that I get up at 7am, and she responded "Oh, so late!"
R=rare: What I am here. The states get to a person sometimes. I've promised myself hundreds of times now to never stare at anyone ever again.
S=socialist: Kerala is a socialist state. Meaning that the democraticaly elected majority party is the CPI(M), the Communist party (Marxism).
T=tea: Or "chaya" in Malayalam. Not as popular here as coffee ("capi") but more delicious in my opinion. Served with lots of milk and sugar.
U=UV rays: Guarded against by using umbrellas with reflective lining.
V=vellum: Pronounced wellum, it's Malayalam for water. The water isn't safe to drink, so it has to be boiled.
W=weddings: Arranged marriages are changing shape in India. People are given the option of sayin no to a potiential partner, and usually meet several times before agreeing to marry. Two of my friends here are about to be married. Jubee's marriage is arranged, but she met her fiance several times before she agreed to marry him. Both he and Jubee wanted a long engagement (3 months?) but now wish it had been shorter - they talk every day, all the time, and just want to be married already! Pretty will be marrying her boyfriend of 5 years in January. She had to plead with her parents to let her marry her boyfriend, but they eventually gave in and are happy for her.
X=Xn: Or Christian. More cheating here. Rumor has it that St. Thomas stepped foot in Kerala in 52 C.E. and introduced Christianity then. Whether it's true or not, Christianity has existed in Kerala for a long time. 30% of Kerala is Christian; 3% of India is Christian. Most of the churches here are still heavily influenced by early Eastern Orthodox customs.
Y=You're welcome: Thank you, you're welcome, I love you... not said here. It's supposed to be assumed. Saying these phrases can imply that you regard the other person in a not-friends, all-business way.
Z=zzzz: The sound of mosquitoes. My apartment has mosquito-proof screening, but when I'm not in my room, I'm fair game for those suckers. Fortunately, they only seem to be biting my right foot, which is nice of them.

Bring nothing.

I made it to India!

To begin to tell about India, I have to begin in Chicago. We flew Chicago to London to Mumbai to Cochin. Unfortunately, our flight left Chicago late, so we missed our London flight and had to rebook all of our other flights. The next flight to Mumbai wasn't for another 9 hours, but they put us up in a swanky hotel and we got super-nice, free meals there. However, when we got to Mumbai, our luggage was missing. It took so long to fill out the paperwork that we would have missed our flight to Cochin if it hadn't been delayed. But we got to fly first class to Cochin, which was nice. Didn't quite make up for a year's worth of lost luggage, though. Fortunately, my bags have been found and I will get to pick them up tomorrow. There is one guy who has one bag that is still missing though. He's been wearing the same pants for a week now. Poor guy.

So, our first (half) day in India consisted of buying clothes. Onam, a huge fall celebration, begins this week, so clothing stores are currently swamped with customers. It was quite the experience buying our churidar in all the confusion. Churidar is basically a long tunic worn with pants and a scarf. The women each bought two, and are having two made. Men here mostly wear pants, but mundu and lungi (skirts) are very common as well. The guys in the group are very excited about trying them out.

On our first full day, we attended a Hindu wedding. It was held outside at a small temple. The bride wore a green sari with gold trim, with lots of flowers in her hair and gold jewelry. The ceremony lasted no more than 10 minutes - very odd for us Americans. They lit some lamps, tied a string around the bride's neck, poured some seeds and it was over. The reception afterward was nice - we got to eat a huge, delicious meal off of banana leaves! It was our first time in public to eat with our hands , a task that has proved to be very challenging. I feel like I'm starting to get the hang of it, but I still see people snicker at me when they see me eating. Try eating rice with sauce with just your right hand sometime - it's difficult! You're supposed to squish it into a ball and pop the ball in your mouth like candy. Very hard. But fun, too.

We are also still getting used to being stared at a lot. At the wedding, we were asked to take a picture with the newlyweds, an honor that none of the other guests were extended. We also got to spend about 5 minutes during the reception sitting in front of everyone, letting them ask us questions and take our pictures. It was very strange to be treated like a celebrity just because we are American. I suppose that we will never really get used to this, but at least will be less surprised by it over time.

Yesterday evening, our group returned from a retreat in Tirivulla, where our coordinator, Thomas John, gave a talk about "Life, Faith and Education" to students from Kerala. While most of the conference was spoken in Malayalam, it was really great to get to talk to students who were our age about life in India. And what we did understand of the conference was very insightful. Driving there was also quite an experience. We made bets as to how many times we would face death on the drive back - Cat won with 3 times. I'm sure this comparison has been made before, but driving in India is a good microcosm of Indian life - there are boundaries, but they are more suggestions than rules and can be broken at any time, even when there is a car coming right at you. Despite all that, we are very impressed by how crazy the driving is and yet how little road rage exits here.

Today, we got to go to Thomas John's church. Afterward, we went out to eat and then rode elephants! ... and now it's tea time, and I must go.

Keep your fingers crossed that we'll get our clothes tomorrow - my t-shirt and skirt are starting to smell pretty bad...